Is it normal to have these feelings about another man?

Question

Please hear me out. Please don’t judge. I need your honest opinion. I’m going to keep this as detailed and short as possible. 
My currently boyfriend (father of my two young kids) and I have been together for 7 years now. I love him. But I feel like I’m falling out of love with him. I can’t shake the feeling. I feel terrible. But at the same time I’m attached to him. I can’t imagine a life without him. 
Just before I got pregnant with our first he had physically cheated on me with an escort. I was disgusted. I fed terrible. We broke up. He came back swearing he had changed. Before this he was on multiple websites talking to girls. I ended up taking him back. Then I got pregnant and he really did step up as a man and father. He’s been great. I do trust that he wouldn’t cheat on me again, but it’s obviously in the back of my mind. 
Now about the past year I’ve felt resentment towards him. I randomly think about it and get angry, hurt, upset. I don’t know what to do. 
I was friends with benefits with this guy before my currently boyfriend and I started dated. I ended up really liking him. Maybe even lovin him? I thought he liked me too (I could be delusional) but it was long distance. He kept asking me to come out and told me that he loved me (not sure if it was a joke it said it randomly a lot) that he would be with me, but he knows he can’t do long distance right now, he was thinking about buying  a condo close to me. Again this could have been all talk. But my current boyfriend didn’t want me talking to him again after we got together. I was a little upset because I actually liked this guy as a friend. We would talk everyday and FaceTime a lot. I grew a bond with him. So I just cut him off. 
Now lately, I can’t stop thinking about him. I check his social media a lot and relive memories. But it’s like so I actually love him? Do I miss him? Am I just confused? Is it because of my current boyfriend? What are your honest thoughts. I feel bad about these feelings. I feel bac for my boyfriend and my two kids.

Answer

I don't think you should feel guilty at all. I went through something similar and it's so difficult to move on with someone after finding out that they cheated on you. If you really want your current relationship to work, I suggest counseling or at least having an open conversation with him about how you've been feeling. If you don't feel the relationship is getting any better, try taking some time to yourself and see how that goes. Sleep in separate rooms, do things on your own, etc. Sometimes we stay with people just because we're comfortable and scared to be on our own. Try to get a little taste of that. I would suggest though, try not to look into past relationships, what could've been, or even look into what future relationships might be like. Find yourself and figure out what it is that you're looking for, what do you want out of your future?
Sending good vibes and blessings ❤

Answer

You dont love him … you just resent your bf. The fwb was a fling right. When u add kids, bills and real life into the mix that aallllllllll changes. The googley eyes arnt so googley. Its a case of if the gas is greener on the other side. Id get couples therapy. Look up the 7 year itch that say married couples have.
    Nonetheless i would be livid if i found out my prtner used an escort and he would have to earn my trust back if i stayed. I think u need to focus on building your life up so strong that if u want to leave u can. Work on financial independence, your physical and mental health, developing healthy relationships, and your own life goals. Do things that make u feel good. 
    Also think things through as well because life as a single mom will be much much different than life without an partner. I say that because so many women get flattered because of outside male attention but forget that male may love the romance but when it time to take on you, your kids, bills etc … they may back out.

Answer

I would make the case that the two of you really have no business being together. The relationship should've been put to bed after his first indiscretion. It was inevitable that you ended up feeling this way. 
Is it salvageable? I don't think so. You could delude yourself into thinking you can make it work and waste more time but my best advice to you is to know when you are licked and call it quits while you are (somewhat) ahead. 
You have a whole beautiful life ahead of you. Go find a partner who will treat you as you want to be treated and ALWAYS cut your losses after incidents of infidelity. 
Good luck.

Answer

I think it’s less about the dude you keep thinking about and more about the fact that you feel betrayal and resentment and hurt toward your boyfriend and that you’re possibly not happy, just comfortable. Change is uncomfortable. You need to make a decision and either move forward and work on coparenting or choose to work on your relationship and go to counseling with him so you can heal.

Answer

Yeah once you get cheated on, it’s hard to go back to that trust. You either forgive and move the fuck on or you don’t and you start feeling all these nasty feelings like how you are saying, resentment, disgust, untrustworthy, always in the back of your head. I feel like it’s normal to sometimes think of the past but to actually start feeling things again and get all emotional or thinking about the “what ifs” then you’re not really 1000% satisfied with your relationship. Loving someone and being inlove with someone is completely 2 different things. If the long distance relationship was meant to be, it would be. Whether he moved or you moved. My husband and I were long distant for awhile. He use to live in Florida before he moved to Cali to be with me. Then after some time we moved back to Florida cause of affordable housing and job opportunities. I feel like out of respect, you don’t keep around a guy like that you use to have feelings like that for especially if you still get those moments and your current boyfriend said to cut him off. Like I’m gonna respect my husbands wishes to a certain extent. As I know he would do the same.

Is it normal to have these feelings about another man?

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