Hey you, pot heads ⭕️

I have a question. I have diagnosed PTSD and I am on medication for it.

I don’t want to be on some of the meds I am on forever though. Some of the meds I am prescribed are not good for you long term. And just a disclaimer here; I couldn’t care less if you smoke weed. I hate weed for ME.

I would do anything to switch from pharmaceuticals to a plant that will not cause physical harm to me. The problem?

Well, I can’t smoke weed. Not for any particular reason other than I freak tf out.

I do not understand how anyone uses it for anxiety because of how it affects me. Obviously it does something different for those of you who smoke it for anxiety. I just want to know if anyone has experienced this.

When I smoke or eat THC, I feel every ache in my body. It literally enhances my pain. old injuries that I don’t feel while sober pop up and say “hi bitch.”

It enhances my anxiety to the point of paranoid thoughts and I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t move my body, and I can’t talk to even tell you that I’m freaking tf out. Everything, every sound or movement completely terrifies me.

To me, it it’s the worst feeling in the entire world and if I even see weed I feel repulsed.

I HATE it with a burning passion.

If I eat it, I puke. Violently. For hours.

And yeah 🙄 do you know how many times I’ve been told “U JUST NEED THE RIGHT STRAIN.”

Look y’all, it’s legal and every strain is easily accessible. I have tried, literally every strain that exists. I’ve mixed strains, I’ve tried every single different way even vaporizing?

And I’d seriously rather chew off my pinky finger, than to ever smoke weed again.

It has been a very very long time because NOPE.

It makes me sad as hell because I’m eating anxiety meds that are bad for me and everyone else can just smoke pot and be fine. It actually bothers me a lot. Damn. I wonder all of the time what is so different about me and if something is wrong with me.

Here is the best part too.

I used to be a major pot head. I used to smoke more pot, than I did breathe oxygen.

It helped me calm down and focus. I was 18 in my senior year working full time as a manager in fast food and making straight A’s in school and I was HIGH AS SHIT the whole time. I LOVED it.

And what sucks is I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE! I try to remember what it felt like to be high and actually like it and I can’t. I have no idea how it helps y’all. I just know I calmed down and was able to focus and started making better grades in school.

Then one day? I can’t anymore. I have no idea what happened.

The one and ONLY thing that has changed, is that weed became legal.