Divorce?

Well, this is something I never thought I'd be thinking about but here goes. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for almost 3. I do love him but before we even got married, he started initiating sex while I was asleep (he claims he's asleep when it starts as well). The most recent times it has happened, i woke up to my face being shoved into pillows, being choked, having my mouth covered. I am to the point now that his touch makes every fiber of my being curl into itself. My body shuts down at even the hint of a sexual advance. I've brought my grievances to his attention previously but I felt as though they went unheard, we talked about it again two weeks ago and I do feel heard now. Although this behavior has not continued in the last 2 months, the added stress of purchasing a home has left me physically ill from stress and anxiety. We are on several wait lists for counseling but I don't feel like I can forgive him. I'm a totally different person because of this. I find myself lingering at work for hours after I'm off because I don't want to be home with him. I feel so stuck and sickened that it ever came to this. I don't even know what I want out of posting this, I guess just for someone to hear me. I want to know I'm not crazy for feeling like something important was taken from me unfairly. I want to leave but I don't know how. I'd lose everything, home, family, friends. I just know I can't take this much longer.