This will sound dumb, but I need a home I can paint. Growing up, my favorite memories was watching my mom paint my room. It gave me a sense of “home” and made me so happy. I now live in income based apartments, and the colors do not match anything I have. I also just found out I’m pregnant and when I had my first child, I was living with my mom at the time, so he had a beautiful nursery. I painted mountains, Mickey Mouse with a rocket ship, it was originally just supposed to be woodland themed on one side and stretched over to the other side of the room was space themed. But he loved Mickey, so I was going to add his favorite characters as he got older. But then I moved out.

Well, not only is his room way different than that, now I’m pregnant again, and I just realized I can’t do a nursery the way I’m wanting. I don’t want my second child to grow up thinking I love them less because they didn’t get that. And I want to paint my sons room too.

I have no clue how to get an actual home or where to find a lender. My credit was great- but I bought a brand new sectional, and it got brought down. I would have bought a used one but I don’t know anyone who could have had it delivered.

Literally this is my only known options:

Option 1: Ask my dad to let us move in with him- but he is a hoarder, a bit of a loner, and idk if he’d consider getting rid of some stuff although he says he wants to. and I don’t know if he’d even consider me moving in, although he’s mentioned it, but would always say “if this place was cleaned up you could move in here” but like I could help him clean it. I feel he’s just not wanting me to. He also is leaving the place to me if anything happens to him. So he would know I’d love there. Because he questions me sometimes about it. it would be beneficial for both of us, since I can help him clean his home and replace his carpets. He quit cleaning his house after I moved out when I was 18 (29 now) and he lives alone. I worry something will happen and no one will know.

Option 2: Ask the housing authority to let me pay an extra $25-50 a month until it adds up to $500 and allow them to keep my deposit. Try to find some way to see if they would let me do that. I’d do that, AND paint the walls back myself if I got the chance to move out. But with ssi, I’d never be able to move out other than my parents. So, I don’t see why we can’t paint.

My mom will refuse. She didn’t respect any boundaries of mine. And it just was a toxic environment due to her alcoholism. I couldn’t raise my son in that.

Is there any way I could get a home. I just want like a trailer.

I wish I could work or do something from home 😭

I’m sorry if I’m sounding ungrateful, I just looked forward to doing the little things like that for my kids and I can’t even do that.