AITA for Asking my Mom why she needed to borrow $500 from me?

Question

I (23f) stayed home with a sinus infection while my parents (late 50s) went out and got groceries, among other things. 
Yes a live at home, I moved back in after I graduated college as it made sense financially. I have an okay job and am saving up to move out soon. There’s just no place near my job I can afford rn. I have a little over 5k in my bank account. 
Tonight while out my mom called me asking to borrow $500. I agreed and told her I’d transfer it then, but because of what we use, it would be transferred to dads, then hers. She said that wouldn’t work as she didn’t know where he was. 
We have Life360 so I checked their locations. 
She was at the casino. 
My mom has a slight gambling issue, and will stay there until she keeps losing or we make her leave. 
She then said she’d just go in and transfer it herself, as she has access due to being a co-sign as I got a debit card at 17. 
I said I can do it, it’ll just go through dads. 
Then I asked what it was for. 
She said “what?” And I said “I’m just curious because this is a lot of money” 
She said “I’m buying things” 
Then she said never mind and hung up. 
Tonight she completely ignored me when she got home then finally yelled at me calling me rude and she’d never do that and she was going to use than money to buy a new office chair and paint for the house. And all this stuff and how I was extremely disrespectful. I explained I had every intention on sending the money, I was just curious what it would be for. 
She said she works hard to pay for this house, my dad pays for it, and to feed me, I buy my own food and pay all my bills, and what I did was extremely disrespectful and she doesn’t have to tell me what she spends her money on. 
The thing that gets me is she still could’ve gotten that if the money went through my father and then he sent it to her. 
She was incredibly defensive and I can’t help but think she wanted that money to keep gambling.
I really had every intention to give her the money, but the fact she just absolutely refused to give specifics or anything raised flags to me. 
AITA?

Answer

No, you aren’t. I would suggest you open your own account where she doesn’t have access though.

Answer

No you can use wisdom. You dont have to fund gambling. Mom has a gambling problem, moms at the casino, mom doesnt want to go through dad… equals no mom doesnt need money to fund her bad habit.

Answer

She doesn’t have to tell you what she spends her money on? Haha.. you mean YOUR money? If that’s truly what the money was for it shouldn’t have been such an issue and big deal just to tell you that in the first place. I don’t blame you for questioning her, especially seeing how her location was pinged at a casino and she has a gambling problem. If anything, your moms the AH for asking you to feed her addiction, assuming she was lying and was actually planning on using it as gambling money. I also don’t understand how others can choose to do something for someone and when things don’t go their way decide to use it as blackmail to throw their hissy fit. Just don’t do things at all if they’re just going to use it as ammo against you later on.

Answer

No…I would have asked too 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Your mom is the a hole. Also a little advice move all of that money open a new account with just your name now that you are of age. You don’t want her starting to transfer on her own sounds like she would. Last if someone asks you for money I 100% think you have a right to know what it’s for. It sounds like she didn’t want you dad knowing I’d bring up the new office chair and paint around her when your dad is there. I’d say something like so what color paint were you guys planning and were you thinking more of a brown or black chair. Her reaction will tell you what she really planned to do with your money. Her comment about being able to spend her money how she wants she is right but if she is borrowing that isn’t her money I would have called her on that.

Answer

You did the right thing. She might be keeping a roof over your head bit you are not her cash cow to feed her gambling addiction. The fact that she didn't want it going to your dad first then her, is because he obviously doesn't know the extent of her problem. Tell him! This goes deeper than a row over money, she needs help

Answer

No, I would have asked too. My parents would have told me why they were asking.

Answer

You can ask but she doesn't have to answer. I would never question my mum like that - either I give her the money or I don't, I don't pry into her personal business.

AITA for Asking my Mom why she needed to borrow $500 from me?

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