Going through it.

My bf does not take accountability for anything that he does and blames everything on me. His mom passed away at the beginning of the year , she treated me like crap the 2 years I have known her. I voiced several times to him how she made me feel & his response was “that’s your problem , I’m not about to go off on my mom for you” so when she passed away I put my feelings to the side to be there for him during the funeral & whatnot. He said that I didn’t seem sad about her death & that I didn’t shed a single tear. So we got into an argument about that. So fast forward to now. We keep arguing and every time we argue he throws in my face about how I wasn’t there for him when she passed away & im not a good girlfriend , he calls me out of my name & calls me a hoe and I told him don’t call me something you can’t call your mom. Do not disrespect me. He threw my suicide attempt in my face & called me a bad mother . He says that im being toxic to him but he won’t leave. I had to beg him to come hold me last night & when he did he squeezed the hell out of me saying “is that good enough your highness” and I hit him because it hurted. He stood over me and punched me in my head then we got into a fight & he started kicking me and mushing my head into the floor and choking me saying he would put me to sleep. I asked him multiple times to leave my apartment he refused to. He picked up our daughter and was telling her he feels bad for her because she has a mom like me & that I’m a bad mom all I’m going to do is hurt her. That shit hurts and I’m begging him to just leave and give me my daughter he then goes on to say that he’s not leaving because I’m wrong. This whole situation escalated because of me. And I said because I asked you to come hold me? What’s the big deal about holding me? He just kept saying that I’m a bad mom for arguing in front of my daughter and for trying to kick him out in front of her. Well he was kicking me and punching me right in front of her. Like wtf do he expect for me to do! He refuse to leave & im trying to avoid calling the cops on him. I picked up my phone and pretended to call them he left & kept saying that I’m the worst thing that ever happened to him. Now he’s back in my apartment (because he took my keys) and slept in the other bedroom. I’ve been dealing with this for 2 years and any time I tell him about his self he makes an excuse and tells me he doesn’t feel like he needs to apologize to me for anything because he reacted to what I did & he always feels like I should be the one always apologizing even if I didn’t do anything wrong I should still apologize. That’s not fair at all!! I’m just wrong all the time and he’s right? I’m so sick of him doing this to me. He says that I’m hurting him by bringing up his mom I’ve been hurting!! He barely help me take care of our daughter because he works at night and sleeps until 12 or 1 and then when he’s up he’s mainly on tictox I have to ask him to watch her so I can go run errands & when I come back she’s not fed or changed , I have to ask him to feed her or change her. Sometimes he does it without me asking but majority of the time I have to ask him to do these things. The dryer isn’t working right and he hasn’t tried to fix it but he can be up on the oculus all night while I’m asleep. He throws in my face about how he has to work at night while I’m “sleeping” he’s out actually working. I’m up with my daughter all day from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. And I stay up longer to get the house cleaned and to have some alone time because I barely get that. I have been mentally exhausted for the past few weeks and I try to explain to him how I feel and he just makes it about him. I told him i need more help. He just started this job I was the one out working two jobs, still coming home & being a mom running off of 3 hours of sleep & he couldn’t even keep the house cleaned or have her in bed at a decent time. He feels like because he’s working now he should be able to sleep however long he wants to. I have a job too but he starts arguments on days that I have to work & leaves forcing me to call into work because he takes the car and I don’t have any one else to watch her. So I’m missing out on money and he doesn’t make that much.