Is it normal for my MIL to buy over half of my registry gifts?

Question

My MIL is generally nice to me but lately I’m realizing that some of the things she’s done to me have been very rude and inappropriate. For example, ‘fixing’ the food I’ve made for my in laws, talking about my anxiety issues with my husband (I’ve told him to shut that down in the future). These things are probably why I feel so anxious around her, and for my whole pregnancy (I’m 31 weeks) I’ve felt really protective over my baby. She has called him ‘our baby’ and seems too interested in being his mom, telling me how good of a mom she was to my husband, telling me she wants to babysit my baby by herself and generally giving me a weird vibe. This is her first grandchild, and my husband is her only child so I’ve written off these things are her just being excited… but idk if I’m being stupid here and missing some red flags. 
She has bought us around 15 things (not on the registry) for the baby, and also 20 of the 50 things on our registry. Am I being hormonal or is this too much? I really appreciate her generosity but I’m worried it will come with strings attached, like expectations of being the baby’s second mom or something. I told my husband I don’t want his parents to visit us after the baby is born for at least 2 weeks, and I’m not letting them hold him until he gets his vaccines. My in laws work in public transit and are ALWAYS sick, they’ve had Covid twice and after we see them I usually come down with a cold. He told them this, and they didn’t argue at all, they said okay that makes sense and moved on. But, over the weekend she texted me that her boss just cut her grand baby’s umbilical cord and ‘how wonderful is that’ 🙄 So maybe they’re not as ok with our rules as I thought, or are trying to manipulate us into changing our minds. 
My mom gives gives with ulterior motives often, and is very manipulative, so idk if I’m projecting this onto my MIL. At this point I want nothing to do with her, but she acts so ‘nice’ and like everything she does is for the good of my husband and I. I just feel like I’m not buying it anymore. 
Does it sound like I’m overly suspicious and I actually have a good MIL? She also does things like sends me gifts for my bday, and when my in laws visit us she brings food and cleans all of the dishes.

Answer

Your last paragraph leads me to believe shes just being over the top, but without malicious intentions.

Answer

Well as a first grandchild and only child I think this is normal. She sounds super excited and probably just making sure she’s going to be a part in your child’s life. You should be happy. My MIL doesn’t buy anything for our kids I mean nothing, and doesn’t even come to see them. She lives 20 min away.  She FaceTimes that’s her way of seeing them. I’m 2 weeks I’m having another child and having a second birthday for my son and she’s not coming to either per her own words. Just set boundaries, laugh off a lot, and try to remember she thinks she’s helping. She probably does expect your time and time to be a part of the baby’s life. Congratulations btw!

Answer

My MIL was exactly the same way, after baby came she had ZERO concept of boundaries or what was appropriate or not during the newborn/postpartum period and did indeed try to become a second mom. I think you're right to be wary of her. Since you're seeing the signs now, be sure to have a frank discussion of boundaries before baby comes and stick to your guns.

Answer

Am i the only one who thinks it’s ridiculous you wont let them visit? Yes its your baby but that’s her grandchild. If my daughter in law didnt let me see my grandchild for weeks I would resent her

Answer

I think your MIL is just overly excited about her first grand baby and she cares for you in general so I wouldn’t think anything more of it. And the fact that you told her no visitors the first 2 weeks and she agreed and didn’t fight you on it shows that. 
Just remember at the end of the day it’s your baby and you can definitely set some boundaries if she becomes too overbearing! But don’t be too quick before baby is born as it seems she’s willing to help out, that help may very well come in handy.

Answer

Omg! You don't know how much I related to this!!!! I knew I wasn't crazy. You are not being over the top. I had this lady that I called mom, I don't anymore and I cut her off. She was beyond toxic. Everything your saying happened to me. Literally. She would buy things when I tell her not too and she would be mad that I didn't want them and she would make herself the victim. Sooo much shit, and she disrespected him after he passed... what she did was plain sick in the head. I could never forgive her.

Answer

Just stay firm with what boundaries you and your husband establish. She just seems excited but you and your husband need to be on the same page and he needs to advocate on your behalf if she oversteps. Don't stay quiet if you hear her saying things that aren't going to happen, like keeping the baby by herself, etc. You want to manage those expectations before it gets too deep.

Answer

I feel like my MIL is similar. We are still early but when we told her we were pregnant but we’re still cautious and have lots of hurdles, she asked if i wanted her to go buy stuff that day. Like no, we also went through ivf to become pregnant so it’s been no walk in the park. I think it’s totally fine for her to be excited but you’ll def just have to keep those boundaries in place and remind your husband that he needs to as well. My husband is the only son that my mil has that will have kids as well but i def plan to keep boundaries bc if I don’t- i know it will spiral out of control. Harder said than done but sometimes those conversations just need to be said. You can be thankful for the gifts but i personally don’t feel like you owe her anything for the amount besides a thank you.

Answer

Sounds like your over thinking and being paranoid. This is her first grandchild she is excited. She is showing her love with everything she is doing. She won't take the baby from you thats your baby and she knows it. But having the love for a grandchild is different and be greatful that your baby is already so loved.

Answer

It sounds pretty normal to me and like she is being really sweet/generous. She hasn’t pushed any of your set boundaries so I wouldn’t be overly suspicious. I’d just be greatful but cautious.

Is it normal for my MIL to buy over half of my registry gifts?

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