Im just an emotional mess atm

I currently 4wks 3days pp... hes a perfect no fuss lil baby. Hes my third. Labour n birth went perfectly and without pain, natural, no tears. However, an hr after birth.. I had a severe PPH. It came pretty damn close this time..and had a near death experience which i thought was a dream, wasnt. My uterus just doesnt like contracting back after labour n giving birth. I still want more kids. Least one more. Having a real hard time dealing with what happened and the prospect of this being my last baby.. I mean I can get pregnant, and I can give birth.. will I survive nxt time?? How could I leave my kids motherless if I wanted one more baby. So much running through my head and ball of emotions. Idk. Has any of you been in this boat??