I’m supposed to be 5+3 weeks and not 20 minutes after my first appointment yesterday with my doctor I went to the toilet and wiped blood. I’ve been cramping since then, had a negative pregnancy test, and as of an hour ago started bleeding. This is my third miscarriage.

My doctor told me to go ED if I experience any bleeding but honestly what’s the point? I know the drill, they’ll do bloods (which I’ve already had done this morning anyway), do a scan and tell me they can’t see anything, and then send me home to monitor.

I’m going to wait it out at home unless I start bleeding out, I have an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday, I’ll either be pregnant or I won’t. My Crystal ball is cynical though.

I’m mad at my body and at the world and at my SIL who joked about my daughter needing a sibling today, and the baby clothes I stupidly brought last week

I just need to vent.