I just found out I had an early miscarriage at just over 5 weeks. We had just told our families two days ago and last night I started bleeding. The doctor confirmed my HCG level today is only 11.

Everything feels like it’s part of a “before” life. The pizza box from the dinner we ate before we knew. When I told my husband, “I’m about to get fat anyway, let’s get pizza.” The “big sister” shirt my daughter wore is sitting on the floor in her bedroom after telling our families. The anti nausea meds I bought for when I’d start feeling sick next week sit on my bathroom counter.

I just feel like there was there was this life “before” where we were happy. I was carrying a joyful secret. Now everything just feels like a sad “after”

Does anyone else get what I mean?