Boring sex?

Question

My partner has pointed out that I'm lazy during sex/never want it anymore. And I've only just come to the realisation that he's right. I think it's because I don't get that intimate feeling with him anymore. Like the sex we do have just feels routinely. I seem to not be able to cum having sex with him ever, i think because in the past I would often feel rushed/ like I was taking too long. I consider him practically my first as in I had sex maybe 3 times with my bestfriend at the time(lost my virginity). But like experience and confidence wise I had none when I verry first met my partner. Then like the first 3-4 years was like this constant young love sex. Multiple Blowjobs a day, sex twice a day. Started dying down down now that we're at the 5-7 year mark. I don't know if it's that we have a 2 year old or that he prioritises his ps4 over me when he's home from work. But we're now at the 9 year mark with another baby on the way. And I feel disappointed that we don't have great sex anymore. Especially after some of the stuff I read on here🤤 how do I let him know what I want without being so direct ( he takes offence if I mention its because he doesn't do things I like). But like I want the neck kisses and all the little things,instead of being approached in the kitchen with his pants down saying "wanna suck my dick" like is that the only way he knows to initiate sex cause UGHHH! 🙄🙄🙄 like he complains I've gotten lazy with sex but there's no other way he tries to iniate it and I guess I've stared just rejecting sex more and more as I'm not feeling that spark. 🔥🔥🔥

Answer

I don’t know what to tell you. If I’ve read this correctly, your husband sounds hella not sexy. Asking you to suck his dick in weird situations like in the kitchen. Sorry, a real man knows that in order to get good sex he needs to turn his woman on. How is your husband pleasing you? Does he ever take the time to turn you on? Make you cum? His approach sounds very one sided. He’s the boring one

Answer

Let him be offended. He clearly thinks that sex doesn’t need romance. What he clearly doesn’t realise is that In most cases in order for a women to want sex, they need to felt loved and appreciated in and out of the bedroom, and he clearly doesn’t do that. 
Nothing will ever be like when you first got into a relationship with one and other, because that’s when you are most exploring each other and getting to know likes and dislikes etc. if he can’t treat you the same as what he use to in the beginning, then how can he expect you to want sex as much as you wanted too at the beginning. Sex comes down to mindset a lot with women, we are either in it or we aren’t.

Answer

I wouldn’t want sex if my husband just whipped out his dick in the kitchen either. Women need more foreplay then that. For myself, sucking dick doesn’t turn me on (not sure if it does for other woman) I mostly just do it cause my husband likes it. I would communicate with him about YOUR needs and what turns you on. It’s not all about him.

Answer

COMMUNICATION. I tell my husband when I want more foreplay or tell him “I would love it if you kissed my neck” or “can we cuddle naked first” or “can you rub my back, that would really turn me on.” Women typically don’t just want a guy to pull down his pants and be asked to suck their dick 🙄. Like that might occasionally work but we generally need more foreplay than that. After this amount of time if he hasn’t learned what you need then either he’s a shitty selfish partner in the bedroom or you are a horrible communicator, or both. 
Also your man sucks at sex majorly if he isn’t consistently asking what you want or what feels good. If he is going to put you down and complain about you then he should probably be informed that he’s a huge part of the problem.

Answer

Well sex takes two to tango. You sit down and have an honest conversation. (Tbh I had to ambush my husband while he was in the shower). If he's offended so what? He might change his style as it sounds like he needs to. Pregnancy is known to make it especially difficult to get out of your head and relax to climax. Acknowledge your faults in being insecure too so that he doesn't feel like this is all about him.

Boring sex?

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