Vent Maybe ?? GirlTalk ?

CURRENTLY BAWLING MY EYES OUT 😭😭😭

So my husband has been acting a bit wild for the past 2 years and even while I was pregnant.

Anyways , his recent cheating scandal really put me in a deep depression because I feel like he could’ve left me alone if he knew he’d do this to me. Before we even got married and had a baby , I used to be so confident , always looked good , hair was always done , always took pictures ; you know , that type of ‘Instagram baddie’ type of thing . He’s made me feel so worthless which drove me into a deeeep depression . I’m grateful for my baby and even the little mommy tummy he gave me .

Anyways , in the latest cheating scandal he basically was telling another girl how beautiful she looks everyday , admiring her nudes and her ‘perfect’ , ‘non-mommy’ body , basically being on phone calls with her IN MY PRESENCE & even planning to see her in a few months ( she lives in a state far away ) .. once I asked him to stop talking to her in my presence , we got into a heated argument and he spat in my face for the first time ever In the 8 years that we’ve been together

2 months after them texting and sexting , he decided to stop talking to her and make things right with me . He did apologize & said he regretted everything but I guess that upset her and she went ahead and make me look like a fool on the internet . Since then he’s been super amazing to me and I can’t seem to forget this last episode that pushed me into a deep depression and made me realize how much of myself I’ve lost for a man I loved with my entire life .

I’m depressed because I’m no longer the woman I used to be , my body is ugly & I feel worthless . I feel like I went through all these changes for ‘Us’ and he prefers to admire another female with a cute body that I once upon a time had . I don’t know what to do and I’d really appreciate some sort of advice . Should I leave and rebuild myself ? Should I continue working things out and force the happiness while this still crushes me inside ? Whether I leave or stay , I’ll forever feel bad about this .

Most times I don’t even want to be here . I’m still struggling to survive the days just because of our baby .