Second baby nerves

So we have decided to try for baby number 2 in October, our son will be 18 months then. I always wanted a 2ish year gap.

But I’m so nervous. All I can remember is how horrible I felt pregnant and I have antenatal depression and I really don’t want to feel like that again.

When I think of the first year of having a baby all I can remember is all the anxiety and stress. I suffered bad with PPA.

I know that I enjoyed that time with him so much, and I love him and do want more. So why when I think of another baby I just think of all the hard times ?

Anyone else feel like that before having their 2nd?