Being “too tight” and pain during penetration

Hi ladies,

I recently was with a guy casually one night and he was fingering me (we didn’t have intercourse, just other stuff) and he commented on me being really tight and said he could barely put a finger or two inside. He fingered me kind of hard even though I said it hurt because he said it would “only hurt for a second” in an attempt to loosen me up or something 🙄 Needless to say, I’m never seeing this guy again. But it made me think about how sex has been consistently painful for me. I had sex for the first time about 8 months ago and had sex with my then boyfriend (we’re since broken up) maybe about 10 times (I haven’t had sex with anyone else). It hurt a lot the first time but all the times after that it would hurt just in the beginning. We used lots of lube and he moved slowly and was super attentive to me. I tried to focus on relaxing my muscles every time because I’ve heard it’ll hurt more if I tense up, but it didn’t really help. Even when I’m by myself and have tried fingering myself recently with just one finger it’s somewhat painful.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this and what might be causing the pain? Any advice/ideas would be greatly appreciated!