Just venting

So I’ve been talking to this guy and when we first met we talked about just getting to know one another without sex and the both of us agreed on a couple of months. Well he invited me over because he cooked dinner for me on his lunch break and I said okay. Everything was going pretty good. We got ready for bed and he asked if I wanted a massage I said no I was fine but once we laid down he pushed a spot in my back that has been hurting for months from me throwing 5 to 6 12/18m old on the changing table all day. Well once the massage started I got really relaxed and fell asleep during it. Somehow I ended up on my back and I woke up to him going down on me. My body went into complete shock I couldn’t talk or move. He eventually climbed on top and started to penetrate me and all I could do was cry. I feel so taken advantage of and worthless because all guys ever want from me is sex, the main reason I told him what I told him from the start and it went right out the window. I’m hurt and disappointed in myself for even saying yes to him. 😭😭