Misery loves company

I’m so sorry if I’m annoying anyone. 🙈 I have a 22 month old and 38+5 with the our last baby. I statistically have 5-7 days left and I feel like I can’t take much more of this. I’ve been rendered horizontal basically all day today, I didn’t even feed myself or my kiddo real food until 2 pm. 😩 She wants to go outside and play and it’s 110 and I just can’t handle it. I have so much I need to do; like laundry, finish rotating the toy bins because it’s all spread across the living room floor. And I have zero energy to do so. My daughter deserves better. She deserves her fun mom back. “She will soon!” People would say but it sure doesn’t feel like it! She’s too young to understand and she needs daily stimulation. I’ve canceled all play dates and already decided I can’t make it to her cousins bday party at the river. Dad won’t take her without me because it’s a bit of a drive. So I feel terrible but I really wouldn’t make it. The mom guilt is strong rn.

I’m starting to get depressed. It even physically hurts to lay on my side. I can’t pull my nursing tank down over my belly anymore. My stomach feels like it’s about to split apart at my belly button. I want to cry on and off all day. I’m at the point where I want each contraction to be painful so at least he’s starting to get out. I can’t tell if I ever really sleep or if I just lay there. I had false labor all day long on Friday and Saturday but it’s calmed down to almost nothing since then. My husband had the audacity to complain that he had a headache and was tired this morning. You’re allowed to take drugs! Take an ibuprofen and suck it up buttercup! Trying not to throw up stomach acid all day and my vagina is so tender. I either need to start feeling a little better or this boy needs to get the hell out.

If you actually read my venting rant, thank you so much. I feel like the last weeks of pregnancy are the most challenging and lonely and I have no one my age in my (or my husbands) family that understands or remembers what this is like.