How to get Father to connect to new baby?

Question

Hi Ladies,
I’m sure this is common, but I’m struggling to get my husband to connect to our second baby? I’m 32 weeks and he never touches my stomach or wants to talk about her. He was like this with my first so, so I’m not shocked. 
I’ve literally bought all the clothes and have painted and put together the nursery by myself. I’m very OCD, so I like things done a certain way. My husband knows this and stays out of my way. 
Either way, I’ve been feeling really sad about the fact that he doesn’t seem excited or wanting to help. Any suggestions on ways I can get him more involved???

Answer

Maybe he's just letting you hadle things because you like things a certain way? Also, not everyone talks to their baby/touches the tummy while in the womb lol. As long as he's there for the baby birthb,that's all that matters. If you were to try to force the subject on him,it could make him want to disconnect  from you a bit. Leave him be and just watch for how he interacts after🙂

Answer

Typically men don’t get it until baby is here. My husband helps when I ask for it but he’s kind of in a daze. Like he doesn’t understand.. deer in the headlights style. This is also our second so you’d think he’d understand more than he does but he just doesn’t. It doesn’t bother me though. He’ll get it when baby is here.

Answer

You would flip out at him for trying to hp so he stays out of your way and lets you be. You cant make him bond or whatever your wanting him to do.

Answer

I hope these comments put your mind at ease and realize that your husband is like most men out there!! And this is ok and normal :)

Answer

So this isn’t uncommon. For women during pregnancy this baby is very real to us. We are literally going through every symptom and feeling an experience of growing this little baby inside us so we are already very connected. For a man who is outside of your body, that bonding and connection is more likely to become stronger when the baby is actually born and he can hold her and do some skin to skin with her and start developing that relationship. I wouldn’t be too disappointed because this isn’t unusual by any means. My husband has just started having it become real to him and I’m 33 weeks. He’s still pretty disconnected from the whole thing but he will put his hand on my belly and things like that. I also video when our baby is super active in my belly and send it to him and he has liked watching that. Now that he can actually see the baby moving from the outside more obviously, I think it’s starting to become more real to him!! You could also do some thing like get your husband a small little gift like a coffee mug that says Dad on it etc and talk to him about how you think he’s going to be a great daddy and things like that that might make him start feeling like this is happening and he is excited! I’ve been talking with my husband about all the fun things we will do with our little one and that’s starting to get him feeling more connected. My in-laws want to come to the hospital when I have the baby and I really didn’t want that, but the fact that his mom is so excited is also something that has him feeling more connected to the baby so I decided just to let it go and allow her to visit and I think that will be a way that he kind of bonds with the baby and the whole experience. 
What I’m saying is don’t put too much weight on this for starters, but also think about things that might help him feel more connected and excited that speak to him and may not be the same way that you feel connected.

Answer

You can’t make him help. But you can ask. Men are so oblivious it’s not funny. It’s hard for many men to connect to a baby that’s not here yet. Pregnancy means nothing to them.

Answer

You can’t make him help. Some people just don’t feel the connection til the baby is here. It’s weird talking to a belly and stuff.

Answer

Mine ignored the fact that both of our kid existed. When my son was born he kind of realized that it was real. I'm pregnant with my second boy now and he barely wants to acknowledge it and has "forgotten" that I was pregnant at times or so he says

How to get Father to connect to new baby?

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