Hi☺️

I recently came out and have been dating around. One night I went out to the bars and I literally met my dream girl. Everything was going well until a month in of talking every day and various dates. We were intimate as well. We decided to go out with our friend groups and I literally word vomited how much I liked her because I was extremely intoxicated. I hadn’t drank in 8 months due to health conditions where I was unable to drink alcohol and I didn’t realize how much of a light weight I would be. After this, she was extremely mad at me and we stopped talking after I apologized to her. I was heartbroken after that day just because she was my first queer experience and I genuinely genuinely liked her. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since that day and I was beating myself up because I was like damn I could’ve done that day differently and she still would’ve been in my life. Fast forward to a month later after she ghosted me to this Sunday that just passed, I get a text from her saying hey and how she missed me. As you could imagine I was ecstatic that she texted me because I had been missing her so much. After texting back and forth she calls me because I was upset with her for thinking that how she ghosted me was okay. She said she didn’t want to argue through text. She had asked me to go over her house and I said no. Then she made plans to see me today and I hadn’t received a text since the call. I texted her yesterday asking if she thought her texting me was a mistake and she never texted me but she did post on Instagram. I blocked her on everything after that. I feel so sad and stupid for letting her in again….I know I probably sound annoying but I think I just want someone to listen and maybe give advice on how to move on and not feel so pathetic. I also feel like I have no one to talk to because I don’t have many queer friends. I’m 23 and I find it hard to make friends that are queer just because I’m shy and for so long I was not out.