Overreacting?

Question

I am in an interracial relationship.  I usually chemically straighten my hair and wear extensions.  Last 2 months I have been going natural and my curls are coming back. Last night I was laying on my Bf after I had just deep conditioned my hair. He said "eww get off me your hair is wet , I don't want your nappy hair on me" to which I replied my hair isn't nappy I just brushed and conditioned it . It's called curls. 
He said " well it looks like naps to me ". I told him don't say, that it hurts. He said whatever, don't be mad bc my hair is nappy. 
So I got up and left. 
He said he was joking around. 
Am I overreacting ? I am sensitive , but it really hurt my feelings.

Accepted Answer

Even if he was kidding, he should have stopped immediately after you asked him to and apologized for hurting your feelings.

Answer

No you're not overreacting. You need to have a cultural conversation with him about the importance of black hair and white assimilation.

Answer

Think about if you guys were to have kids the kind of jokes he would think are okay to make which could permanently damage someone’s view of themselves. Don’t let him disrespect you for something you were born with.

Answer

I don’t think you overreacted at all, I explain to him that it was hurtful what he was saying yet he continued to still do so, he disregarded your feelings, doesn’t sound like your relationships gonna last of this is the crap he’s pulling. He could’ve just said your hair is wet and I don’t wanna wet my shirt, rather than making you feel bad about yourself. It was very insensitive, and understandable why you feel this way. I would’ve left as well. And I would’ve been calling him my ex-boyfriend that’s not something to joke about when you’re in a interracial relationship, it’s like the N-word, well now I’m allowed to say it because I have a girlfriend who is interracial, or I know black people or have friends that are black etc. no absolutely not it’s never acceptable. It’s a horrible word to say or to make people feel bad in general. There’s obviously way nicer ways he could’ve said things, but he chose completely wrong. It’s one thing to say do I look fat in this outfit and somebody says yes rather than saying how about we pick out something else that looks that will look much better. Or that other dress she wore the other day and looked amazing on you how about we try that one. Rather than making you feel bad about yourself. And on top of that something that hits to the heart Of who you are. It may start with this, but who knows what else he’s been holding back from saying to you or his family etc. it’s not easy being in an interracial couple even with the ignorance of today. Some people are still very set in their ways or backwards of excepting people in general, can you imagine what else he’s been holding back saying. Whatever happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. Having a common sense not to hurt peoples feelings, or say hurtful things, having a filter, having common decency and sensitivity etc. I don’t think you overreacted at all.

Answer

I am so sorry he did that to you. I truly don’t understand why anyone sees anything wrong with black hair. My youngest is half black. I’m obsessed with her hair and learning how to care for it properly. Her hair is like her daddy’s. She is only 6 months old but I tell her while I do her hair (I know she can’t understand but I still say it). “Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are, you are perfect and beautiful. If anyone makes you feel like you need to hide who you are, where you came from or who your family is you don’t need them in you life.” I’m saying the same to you.

Answer

What a fucking asshole.

Answer

He needs to be more mindful of the words that he utilizes. That was a completely insensitive comment! I would be pissed and his ass would be on the couch!

Answer

Not at all. The word “nappy” should’ve never left his mouth to begin with and he should’ve never felt comfortable using that In front of you. Idk just feels like a micro aggression covered as a joke.

Answer

Wow that even hurt my feelings and he didn’t say it to me. No love you’re not overreacting, he should know better.
Sorry he hurt your feelings ❤️ curly hair is beautiful my hair is curly too. Hope everything gets resolved for you!

Answer

If he was joking then he would have stopped after you told him that hurt you.

Overreacting?

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