Adult children

So I have a adult son who is 21 years old and in the military, and he decides to get married to girl I’m not really fond of. So they get married he tells me 3 days before and two weeks after they are married her mom which is 36 and her siblings which is 6 , 10, and 13 move around the corner so I live in Philly and my son lives in North Carolina the mother moves from Philly to NC and I’m like WTH I’m confused so one day I speaking to my son and he just seemed off so I was concerned and called his battle buddy we was talking and he told me that my son has a lot on his mind and I ask his buddy what made the mother move down there I’m lost on that one. About 2 weeks later I get a call from the wife and she trying to curse me out well let me tell you by the time I finish with her my son was like mom hangup the phone first of all I do not do disrespect never have never will I’m 44 years old and if my own child don’t disrespect me I be Dammm if I let a little disrespectful child talk to me like that but after that I told my son she is not welcome at my house nor is she welcome to my wedding. I mean in all my life no one never disrespected my mom because they new what would happen I did not play that. These kids in the new generation is so different not I. A good way. But now I feel bad because my son is in The middle and he’s deploying to Korea in January for a year and a half and I truly need his head to be clear and not worrying about this situation even though I know he can’t but also because he is married god forbid something happen to my son how would I know because now that he is married they will call the wife first. So what should I do. Or what would you do In This type of situation. Please help.

Concern Mom of a military son