Two wrongs don’t make a right but, I’m tired of making all the effort.

Long story short…

My sister and my dad have seen my son 5-6 times over his four years of life. Every one of those times was me taking him there. About a year ago I stopped because I’m so tired of being the one who has to take him to people and they won’t come to him. It’s quite frustrating. They’ve also never met my three month old daughter.

Out of the blue the other day my sister texted me and tells me she just got a job at his school. Then follows it up with “can I take him out for ice cream on the 17th”.

That bothered me. Not once has she asked to take him anywhere. If I talk about him, I get ignored. If I talk about my daughter, I get ignored. Half the time I ask my sister about her children I get ignored.

So today she texts me again and asks me if she can take him and I kinda decided I needed to tell her how I felt about the fact that they’ve never made an effort for him and it’s always been me taking him over or trying to get them to come see him which they never do. She flips it and says that I’m mirroring what I’m doing to her and putting it all on her.

Okay. Yes. I do not see her children. But here’s why- I ask about them constantly. Never get a text back or call back. Furthermore my fiancé and I have discussed this over and over and he absolutely does not want me taking the kids over there because he does not want me to be the one keeping them in their lives. He wants THEM to make an effort and try. Show that they care. Which I 100000000% agree with, because they don’t respond to texts, calls, pictures of our kids. So I can see her point on saying I do it to her, I get it. Not saying I’m innocent here but why in the world do I need to break my own promise to myself by going over there (and of course having to take my children) to see her kids when that defeats the entire purpose of me wanting them to try to see mine for once instead of me being yet again the one to make the effort.

My sister didn’t speak a word to me my entire pregnancy with my son because she was mad I was pregnant. She refused to speak to me for awhile during my daughters pregnancy because she was mad I was having a girl. Even now she absolutely won’t acknowledge my daughter. And they won’t acknowledge my stepdaughters either. Ever. So this was so out of the blue and it has me questioning her intentions… and if she’s only doing it so she looks good at the school and looks like a great aunt when she’s never once been involved in his life for longer than 30 minutes. My son is such a sweet kid and gets attached to people in his life pretty easily. Do I want my sister to make an effort to see him? Yes. Would I in return be willing to make the effort and take him there? Yes. But I want consistency from this and good intentions because I don’t want my son to get his heart broken.

I have to protect my kids, and I just get weird vibes from this.

Edit to add: they’ve always lived within five blocks of me.