Sick of it

I’m not looking for sympathy

I just down right don’t know where to go from here.

Over the past year my life has been just shit

I’m not one to be all ‘woe is me’ either.

I’m 23. Live alone now.

Me and my ex of 7 years broke up this was almost a year ago now and I just don’t see a future for myself since that happened. I was so in love with him and we had it all planned out.

It was perfect we were best friends and he’s the reason I believe in soul mates, we never argued.

But that ended up being our downfall. One drunken argument and we broke up over a text.

He then made up rumours about me at work ( we worked together) , the rumours cost me my promotion. I tried to reach out, Then he blocked me on everything and got with a girl not even two weeks later .. I lost our second baby months before this.

It’s been a year and I’m still not okay. I don’t think I ever will be I can’t see a way out

I’ve never been so fucking hurt for so long and it’s haunting me,

The loss of him, my two babies and i can’t stop being terrified he’ll have this with another girl and I’ll never get it. All I wanted was a family with him.

I have constant nightmares, I drink too much , I cry a lot or don’t feel anything at all. I compare myself constantly to this girl he’s with and I just am deeply so unhappy. I’d take him back in a heartbeat I really would and I hate myself for that I just feel so pathetic

Please anyone who’s been through something similar tell me this gets better

I know it takes time but this is so much time of hurt I don’t know how much longer I can take