Hi. I'm new to this app and this community. New to the whole parenting thing, too. I'm not sure why, but i felt the desire to share my birth and postpartum story, so.....here goes:

On August 5th this year, I gave birth to my firstborn, my daughter, Violetta (Violet for short), via c-section (baby was beeech). She was born at 7:46 in the morning and weighed 7 lbs 11 oz and was 20 inches long. The delivery was tough as I didn't get the vaginal birth I wanted, and then had to be sedated during the procedure because I was given spinal anesthesia and so I felt like I couldn't breathe (and I'm asthmatic), even though I actually was breathing. Because I was sedated, I wasn't allowed to hold my daughter right after she was born. Wasn't able to touch her and I barely even remember seeing her when they pulled her out of me and held her up to show us. I was glad my husband was there to support me and to give my baby someone else she could form an attachment to, as I wouldn't even be able to hold her for another couple hours after her birth as I was too sedated. And because even after all of that, during my stay in the hospital, I was so out of it I could barely care for her those first few days. And when I started trying to I was told to rest and let someone else take care of her, usually other hospital staff.

But my husband wasn't having any of it and told them he wanted to be the one to do all that stuff, so they let him. But still, she was whisked away frequently, every day we stayed there, for various tests and check ups and whatever other things it is they do with newborns. When we got home from the hospital at long last, I was distraught when I realized my daughter wasn't attached to me. In fact we hadn't really bonded with each other at all, to the point where she only wanted daddy and would scream and cry if he tried to hand her to me. And I was struggling with low milk supply and my body was still stapled together and healing, and so all of this plus having to provide 20 plus hours of child care in a row my husband's first night back at work was just all too much and so then PPD set in. I was miserable and felt unsupported by my community, and my own family couldn't make it out here in time for her birth, and they live 2000 miles away. My husband helped when he could, but because he often works several 12 hour shifts in a row, at night, this means that he has to sleep during the day when he comes home or he won't be able to function at work due to severe sleep deprivation. He works overnight shift at a local factory, and falling asleep on the job or making huge mistakes (especially mistakes with mixing chemicals to make the products, which in some cases could be life threatening), is all grounds for being fired and he is our only source of income. I have health issues and am also traditional anyway so we both agreed I would be a stay at home mom. This was a wonderful arrangement for us until we realized the hard way that I was doing 20 hours of childcare by myself as a first time mom after major abdominal surgery everytime he started up another round of work shifts. 20 hours per day, meaning he was only awake and availble for four hours in between shifts. So he tried to pitch in as much as he could after that even during the times he was supposed to sleep but the results were disastrous and left us both feeling more exhausted than before. We're lucky we didn't end up accidentally injuring ourselves or the baby, and lucky we didn't get into any car accidents. But that's all I want to say about that. Anyway, after a few close calls I decided I needed to do what was best for my family. So I persevered. And my husband supported me every step of the way. I got my milk supply back up, after it dropped, twice, I bonded with my daughter which also helped me overcome my depression, and I FINALLY figured out how to balance caring for baby with caring for my own needs so that I was rested up by the time my husband came home from work, which meant that he could finally get some needed rest before going back to work that same day. And which made it possible for me to have breaks on his days off because he now gets enough sleep to help support me in this way. All is well that ends well, but not without a few bumps along the way. I'm still learning how to do this mom thing, but im just happy that I can now say I honestly enjoy what I do as a stay at home mother and I now understand fully as a parent what other parents mean when they say "but it's so worth it!"

Hope my story inspires you. I know other parents' stories have sure inspired me, and helped me keep going in my own journey.

Here's to almost a month of being your mommy, baby Violet. I hope and pray we have many more beautiful months and years together..... you, me, and your favorite human ever (since before birth, honestly), your daddy. We both love you very much. :)