My son's are 11 and 14. I recently got over night visitations. I was on drugs for a very long time. I was drugged out so much and wasn't always around my kids and at one point I wasn't ALLOWED to be around my kids. My ex had refused to let me see them when they were 5 and 8 so I took a bat to his car and he called the police on me and got a restraining order. I've been trying to get my shit together and am celebrating 2 years sober. I am very behind on child support but I'm working on it. They finally granted me some type of custody which every other weekend I get my boys. I'm working towards more.

The thing is my boys do not respect me at all. They are very disrespectful. They don't listen to me when they're over my apartment. I argued with my oldest for 3 hours to do the dishes. They will tell me they don't want to do it right now or they're not going to do it right now. My oldest and i had a fight over him taking a shower. He didn't want to shower and I told him he has to shower because he stinks. I also went out of my way to buy him acne medicine because he's getting acne really bad but he said he wasn't gonna shower. He had been outside in 80 degree whether a lot of the day and he stunk really bad. But he kept telling me no and was a huge fight and I said "I'm your mom. You and ___ need to start respecting me". He said he would rather be with his dad. Me and my 11 year old were fighting because I was trying to cut his hair and get kept moving playing his switch and I tried to take the switch away so I could cut his hair and he was mad at me and said no it's mine. I told him he needs to hold still so I could cut his hair and he was just screaming at me. Another situation, my boys share a room. While my 11 year old was in the shower I went to tell my 14 year old his daddy called and he was watching porn. It wasn't even normal porn. It confiscated his phone and went through his history and he was searching "Women pegging man" "women fingering man". "Pegging teen porn". I think 14 is too young to be exposed to porn in general but especially porn like that. I don't think 14 year olds should be dabbling in pegging. I'm not saying there's a problem with people who enjoy it but I think is too young to be exposed to that. He went into my drawer and took his phone back and refused to give it to me.

This is only my third weekend with my boys but they just do not respect me as a mother. As an authority figure. I admit I was a shit mom in the past but I'm doing everything I can to try to be the best mom I can be and it's hard when my children won't listen to me.