Single or whaaat?

The father of my children and I have been together for 5 years now. We have two beautiful children. Our daughter is 3 and our son is 6 months old. We haven’t really had the greatest relationship even before children. We both had bad trust issues and past trauma we threw into our relationship. After 5 years, nothing has truly changed on his part. Still no trust in me. Watching gas mileage when I use “his” car. Still knit picking at everything I do wrong. Nothing I do is ever good enough. In 2020, he told me that the only competition I had was his ex. He threw her in my face. I told him if that is what’s going to make him happy then go do it. He never did. In October of 2021, I was less than 20 weeks pregnant. He told me to go “kill myself”. I left him and moved one hour away in with a friend. She kicked us out, so I came back to him since I had no where else to go. Here I am one year later almost thinking about leaving again. I’m so fed up with trying and hoping things will change. It never does. Every time we communicate, we end up arguing. I’m so ready to be happy again and confident in my body and who I am. I’m ready to find me again.

I AM SCARED. I’m scared to do everything on my own financially. (I already do everything else alone.) I’m scared to break my family apart. I’m scared that I’ll fail my children. I’m scared of the unknown.

How is coparenting going to work? How do I go about breaking up and healing when we have kids together?