AITA for wanting to keep this pregnancy a secret for as long as possible?

Question

We’ve just found out that we’re expecting our second. Last time we told parents at 8/9weeks and extended at 13. 
We’re very private people and last time our mums were both very insistent upon us telling grandparents as soon as possible and we felt quite pressured. Also my partners family are shopaholics/hoarders and the moment we told them we were recipients of TONNES (I mean tonnes) of baby supplies that they found at carboots. I know they were excited but we found it overwhelming not to mention most of it was soiled/not useable so we were left with lots to throw away. We like to think of ourselves as minimalists (ish) and as we have a daughter already we really don’t need anything this time around.
Due to the experience last time I want to keep this pregnancy a secret for as long as my bump will allow (I didn’t show till 30weeks last time) so for quite awhile. Does this make me an asshole? How did your families take it when you told them later than typical?

Answer

Don't worry about them. It's your pregnancy so do what's most comfortable for you

Answer

I wouldn’t have told anyone I was pregnant until birth if I could’ve hidden it 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Told my husbands parents once we were in 2nd trimester and they were cool keeping it to themselves which is why they got to know that soon. Didn’t tell my family till 3rd trimester. Heck!didn’t tell the neighbors until I looked pregnant instead of fat and didn’t tell any friends until after viability week and even then only close friends or ones we run into know it and not all of them. We had our reasons for doing this as we are private people too and had concerns.

Answer

You’re never the AH for not telling someone about your pregnancy if you don’t want them to know. I understand parents get excited but it’s still your decision. Last time we told our parents and siblings at 7 weeks but, like you, wanted to wait about a month before we told extended family. Well, that didn’t really work out because my dad was too excited and told his brother, who told his daughter, who told some of my other uncles, aunts and cousins, etc. We ended up telling extended family sooner than we wanted so we could tell them ourselves before they found out through the grapevine. So I would suggest that you keep it a secret until you want everyone to know, and until you’re ready to receive all their “gifts”. However long that may be.

Answer

Your pregnant not anyone else you can tell anyone when you want or you don't have to all 🤣

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I waited until I was 6-7 months I didn't tell anyone I just kind of threw my other daughter a birthday party and they suspected I might be pregnant I didn't say anything my husband did to those who asked him. But me personally don't tell no one. My husband and I are more private people and enjoy just us knowing and our 2 little girls. I hate attention and anyone asking me about my pregnancy. In total right now about maybe 5 people know my parents my sister and brother only because I had an emergency where I had to go to the hospital and I had to tell them to watch over my daughters. Besides that I wouldn't of let anyone know until late 8 months.

Answer

I think waiting too long will cause a lot more drama than excessive shopping. On a practical level, I dont think it's a good idea to wait that long cuz youll just get the drama x10. And usually family is less excited for the 2nd baby than the first anyway. We waited until 10-12 weeks.

AITA for wanting to keep this pregnancy a secret for as long as possible?

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