My moms favorite saying to get out of taking responsibility for years of physical, psychological, and emotional abuse is that she isn’t perfect. I won’t be perfect either, and she can’t wait to watch me fuck up my kids too. But I don’t want to be be perfect. I never wanted to be perfect. Or for her to be perfect. All I want is for them to come to me when they’re hurt, or scared. I want them to come to me for comfort after a breakup, or call me when they’re in danger instead of trying to sneak it past me. I want them to make mistakes and admit it because they know their mom admits to mistakes and it’s okay to fuck up. I want them to be comfortable showing me stuff they’re into without sparking a 3 hour rant about their assumed political stance or communism. I want them to hear me walking down the hall and not jump up in fear. Hell, I don’t want them to be able to tell it’s me just by my footsteps. I just want them to be safe and loved and comfortable around me. I dont need to beat them to be perfect maids by the age of 7. I just want them to be kids. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for myself too. I don’t need to hurt or gaslight anyone to accomplish that.