Involved parents

Someone please tell me your definition of “involved parent” and “half ass involved parent” because I’m kinda in a predicament here. My BF had a one night stand last year and the kid was born in July. Since the kid was born in GA and he wasn’t present he has no parental rights to the child. The kid was over yesterday all the way from GA and we live in NC. We had an argument because he calls me wishy washy on my decisions if I want to be involved with the kids life even though I had an abortion from my previous relationship and I am not comfortable yet being around babies. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for bonus mom that’s fine. But my Bf can’t decide if he wants to be involved Aka having communication with the BM seeing the kid and so on. But he keeps saying “I’m not abandoning my child I want him to know who I am but I don’t want to see him all the time I’d rather be in the middle of involved and not involved.” So please an someone explain how do I tell him that he can’t just be “half involved” and make matters worse for the kid. I’m trying to look out for the kid and what’s in his best interest.