Just want to go away

Me and hubby are almost 30 we have our own home and a couple of kids

I have started to realize the past 5 to 4 years that my family emotionally and mentally abuse me and my kids I have taken my kids out of it by not taking them around them anymore but I just feel like I need to leave this place for a year or two to be able to full process and move on my husband is ok with this but he says its a nice idea but not something we can do practically

Plus both his parents are sick (cancer sucks) and it would kill them if we left since he is there only child

But my family is almost like the mafia there's two people you must do what they ask our they just become plane nasty and spared rumors of stuff that's not true like there's no escape if you piss them off and it's honestly just easier to apiece them _ they also have favorites who they treat 1000000 times different from everyone else-

(I am someone who has very bad anxiety and this feeds it and my depression i also have a lovely therapist )

They do nothing but stir the shit pot all day like I can't lose weight because they say i am wrong to do so (i takes to much away from my kids) and will buy stuff and have it sent to my house and try to guilt me into taking it or send my kids to school because it's not something they are ok with I can't do things in the evening when my husband gets off because my cousin thinks he is his friend and is supposed to play what he wants him to play all night (we set time limits and you would have thought we hit this pre teen by the way the way the took it we weren'tbeingfar or understanding btw he hangs out with him 6 days a week for 2 to 3 hours each time) also i stay home with my kids because I don't have a vehicle

And if they need something done I am the first call and they expect me there doing this or that as soon as they say what they need (pre teen also now believes this because of who it's mom is) and if for some reason I can't or don't know how I am making up excuses and am breaking a child's heart (there 16 lisa)

I was babysitting when I was 16 because according to the two I need to be able to make my own money I did odd jobs from 12 up because I needed to do things myself while everything was given to every other kid I was told I was lazy if I asked for something to get it myself as much as this has helped in my adult life it's also makes things worse I now see things I didn't see when I was younger and I really want to cut ties with everyone including grandparents whom are in there eightys and my own parents for not actually being there for me I know if I cut ties it's all or none and because I do believe they would pasture and poke and pry until I put the ties back in place I do think it would be best if we where at minimum 6 to 7 hours away

Because since I was 12 I have done 90% of the dirty/hard work or if either of my grandparents past after cutting ties they would a 1000% blame me

I just don't feel like I can continue to do this and pretend to be happy about if all now that my eyes are fully open to it

(Me and hubby had a date planned for months for tonight they all knew I get a call this morning asking me to do a few things for one of the two and I haven't gotten a ounce of peace intill I finally was like I can give you a hour wich I know will end up being 2 because they will use it as punishment for my husband spending time with me instead of my cousin)

I honestly am tired and just done by my conscience just won't let me cut ties

Because of my grandfather he's the only person who has ever stood up for and believed in me I can't let go of that I have tried and just can't but I know once he is gone I won't hold back or talk to them again because I won't have anyone to protect anymore

(Yes hubby's parents know everything and have even gotten to witness it all)

Sorry for the post I honestly just needed to get this all out before my hubby gets home so I don't ruine the evening by being upset internally and upsetting him by bringing up the matter yet again

( I do also know my family would leave me alone if they would have to go 5 to 6 hours to show up at my door plus if we moved that far they wouldn't have our address)