I feel cursed…

So I had my first 4.5yrs ago…when he was 5months old my husband found out that he was going to Afghanistan & would be doing a 10month tour. Literally like a week before he left, I found out I was pregnant again. I took care of an infant alone and pregnant for 9months. He got to come home to see her born.

Don’t worry, the hell didn’t stop there….then my second is born. She was a difficult difficult baby from the start. Like I couldn’t even begin to explain the hell my husband and I went through. She had bad bad bad bad bad bad colic. She screamed for 20hrs a day. She would sleep for 15mins at a time & then wake up for like 2hrs to scream and sleep for 15mins. It was terrible. It lasted 6months. My husband and I had to get counseling over it. It was such a traumatic experience. I’m still not fully over it.

And then the hell continues from there…for some reason my husband and I got amnesia or something & decided we wanted another baby. A year and some change later, I got pregnant with our third. Didn’t know what hell I was in for.

So now, we are at my third child…you’d think I’d get lucky and have an easy baby. Hahaha not a chance of that. At 2months old, my son had to be airlifted to a childrens hospital because his sugar was “unreadable”. They thought this was because he was vomiting, which it wasn’t because of that. He was vomiting because he had a bowel blockage from a reaction to a vaccine. Once that got sorted, the day we were gonna be discharge. He goes into “almost” cardiac arrest…randomly for no reason. So we stayed another week and a million tests later, he is cleared to go home. Home for a bit & take him back to the hospital because his sugar is low again. They do a million more tests for GI and find nothing so they send us home. Another week goes by & we notice his sugars low again so I take him back. This time they do endocrine tests. And nothing comes of it. Like nothing. So they say it’s an allergy to milk and send me home again. I was home like 3days and had to return again. This time they did genetic tests and gave him a Gtube. Guess what? The genetic tests were negative for like everything to do with hypoglycemia. So they sent us home. They said he was fine & would grow out of it. Ha! Now 9months later, literally no doc worth anything knows what’s wrong with him. He almost went into cardiac arrest again like 4months ago but I guess that’s normal now. Ugh. So now we are trying to get him into Mayo Clinic because literally this is just too stressful. There has been a lot of talk of him having a tumor in his brain or liver. 😞 like how did I get here?

So now, this brings me to our fourth…found out 4months ago I was pregnant again. Nope, we weren’t trying and I was on birth control. We were done at three. But seriously…I’m cursed and every baby it gets worse. I’m scared what that means for baby four. 😞