Canceling Positive Characteristics?

Question

I'm not understanding this. It seems that people are getting canceled/bullied for having positive attributes. One of my favorite people on Facebook was criticized for being a "try hard" and I've also heard the term "pick me"? I don't get it. I AM a try hard. I'm passionate about what I do. I strive to be better every day and I'm constantly analyzing what I need to do better. Am I misunderstanding these terms or is this super toxic?

Answer

I'm a good deal older than you (42), but I think it's pretty common knowledge that "pick me" and "try hard" aren't positive descriptors in modern parlance. Both basically indicate a person who needs constant external validation, rather than developing a solid sense of self based on internal factors and characteristics. They are the kind of people who constantly push themselves forward, seeking attention and pointing out how they're not like everybody else, instead of being confident in themselves and not requiring anyone else's approval to be acceptable.
Being passionate about something is not the same as seeking approval for caring about it, if that makes sense. When a person is truly passionate about something, they'll work at it or pursue it without the need for constant recognition. The work/pursuit *is* the reward. A "pick me" or "try hard" person wants to be SEEN doing the thing and praised for it. The validation is more important to them than the work or pursuit.

Answer

These are not positive characteristics, you're not understanding The meaning behind these phrases. 
 They also aren't new phrases.

Answer

Who cares? Can we stop caring about public validation from strangers about every aspect of our lives and personalities? Just be who you want to be and stop worrying about getting “cancelled” from strangers on the internet. We have to stop giving power to this stupid nit picky judgmental shit by even worrying about it.

Answer

You’re misunderstanding the language usage. 
It’s not about being positive, and doing your best. 
It’s more about people agreeing with ridiculous, often misogynistic things in order to attain or maintain popularity. Most young people go through a hella cringe stage of this, but when it continues past being developmentally appropriate, it needs to be called out and corrected. 
Think about the phrase, “I’m not like other girls” followed by whatever fuckery men in the general vicinity want to hear. 
Candice Owens strikes me as a good example of this. When it was beneficial for her to trash Trump, and talk about politics from the left she did, when it became more beneficial to praise Trump and talk about politics from the right she did. For her there’s a monetization aspect, but I strongly suspect there’s some interesting personal psychology at play there as well.

Answer

You are misunderstanding to answer your question. But damn girl why are you so riled lol. Read the comments and you seem riled up by the answers for some reason. You misunderstood the term, not a big deal. Relax and just move on.

Answer

1st off not a new term. The person who I know uses it the most is my grandma and she is definitely not Gen z lol. And there is a huge difference between a person who is trying there hardest and a try hard. Context matters in all understanding and the context of being called a try hard is not the same as if someone says wow Jessica always tries her hardest at work. Same thing with any possible praise/insult. I can say someone knows a lot of stuff in a praising way but if I call someone a know it all it becomes an Insult of sorts. I have not other social media but this so not sure who you are talking about but I've never heard anyone who thought it was anything but a negative connotation. Just seems like a misunderstanding on the terms

Answer

Do not say that you are a try hard or a pick me.
Say you're a determined person and that you enjoy making good impressions on people.
Being a try hard and a pick me are not positive traits. Please, review their meanings and reword your own traits. If needed, correct your behavior. Pick mes and try hard are obnoxious people to be around

Answer

I grew up in the UK in the 90s and "try hard" was an established insult. Definitely not a gen Z thing.

Answer

I dont personally like these phrases because I always try to see the underlying psychology behind a behavior, and I know being a try hard is essentially being a people pleaser and a perfectionist, and being a pick me girl just means someone has low self worth and seeks constant external validation because they don't know how to self validate - and all of these things are often rooted in trauma and a subsequent inability to be authentic and relaxed in who you are. 
I dont know about cancelling, I think it's a big stretch to say anyone has been canceled for these behaviors, but I do think the terms are used as casual put downs to dismiss people who are probably struggling quite a bit internally. 
But I also think if you find yourself identifying with these terms you could probably benefit from reflecting on your own behaviors and emotional health. Hearing the term pick me girl for the first time a few years ago actually had me reflecting on how I was a bit of a pick me girl in my teens and twenties, guys always thought I was cool but it was really only because I went with the flow out of a fear of rejection if I really spoke my mind. So i think instead of getting defensive there's a bit of self growth that can happen when you reflect on how you relate to those terms.

Answer

In the UK, the term 'try hard' is an insult?

Canceling Positive Characteristics?

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