I love my boyfriend, i don’t think i’ve ever been this in love with anyone in my life. he’s the only person around me who has treated me right, and continues to do so. In the beginning of our relationship, my bf (20M) (im 20F) was the sweetest guy i’ve ever met. He’d surprise me with flowers, drive to college early to come see me before school, he would surprise me a lot by just coming to my house unannounced bc he knew i had a bad day. I always thought I was going to marry him.

I knew my bf was a gamer I’ve been known that he has an obsession and it never annoyed me bc he always plays with his brother and I see it as their bonding time, but i think 3-4 months in, i would come over at night or just to surprise him and I would take the train after paying a $10 uber just to go see him but i never cared how much money i had to spend to see him, I wouldn’t do it excessively just when I could afford it. I would end up at his and he’d spend the night playing video games while I wait on his bed for him to get off so we can sleep. It’s almost daily where this happens now, again, this isn’t what is annoying to me, what’s annoying is that he doesn’t do anything with me before, he doesn’t surprise me anymore, no flowers, or chocolates, nothing.

We got in an argument about it and I told him how I felt, and I see him making effort but it’s not the same, today i told him i wanted chocolate bc im on my period, i didn’t really want chocolate, i wanted him to come over w chocolate bc that’s what he always used to do. This time he had them delivered to my house, and I want to appreciate it, I want to be happy, I want to be thankful, but I feel like the whole delivery is just an epitome of what our relationship has become. I do my everything to be there when he needs me, or to just be there with him, i get him gifts, I surprise him with whatever he desires, and I try to be meaningful. I never stopped, 9 months and I continue to do everything I can to make sure he’s happy, but I don’t feel like my energy or effort is being matched.

I haven’t stopped crying since I got them, something that would’ve meant the world to me a couple months ago just doesn’t feel real or happy like it once did.

idk what to do.