Leaving fiancial security to find happiness

My boyfriend is well off. We have been together six years. He makes over 100k/year and we are both in our late 20’s with no debt. It’s really hard to leave that financial security just to be cared for and loved emotionally. Our relationship is toxic, the trust is gone, he refuses to support me in any way except financially and even then I don’t take his money. He’s always been emotionally unavailable, is an alcoholic, has been pretty mean and uncaring. We have always had a rocky relationship since the beginning.

We are breaking up and I’m struggling to make ends meet renting my one bedroom and he’s about to buy a house that has a back house for additional income and it’s just like wow if I just wasn’t so damn sensitive and didn’t care I wouldn’t have to worry. I always paid for all my own bills the only thing he paid for was rent but just knowing the fact that I’m on my fucking own.

It’s so scary I feel like I messed up and like my life is so fucked.