I gotta vent 😔 today I started to get depressed super hard I feel so empty. It started with missing my mom you know like when I need her the most I really have no one to turn to. She wasn't there for my marriage, the heart breaks,& my miscarriage it's all hurts I am so tired of grieving losing people we love. And it just takes my mind to me losing my babies . Honestly don't know how much grief I can take. I know I'll breathe and tomorrow will be okay but for now I am sooo tired exhausted I feel like I am just here not alive.... Like I just wanted a normal life I worked so hard on myself to turn out somewhat normal and my health is always stopping me . Now I am better but like I feel so torn emotionally. I just feel lost almost . It's so weird I feel like I should be happy I married a great guy shaped my future any yet I don't feel happy and it sucks .... Even talking abouty miscarriage I can't anymore I choke up ... Everyone will tell me be strong get over it or try again but I am so afraid to lose more I am scared... I am not scared of death but I am scared to lose another life.... Everyone is like when will u have a baby but they have no idea what I am going through... I feel so guilty even though I shouldn't but I feel like I am not good enough I am missing parts of me ..