This is gonna be long, sorry and thank you in advance. Gonna start this when I was a kid. My dad was a good dad, coached little league, did PTA events at our schools ect. Then around middle school he was like “ya nope to emotional.” And stopped spending time with us. I have 2 sisters I’m the middle child. My older sister played travel sports most of her life and my dad coached so they spent a lot of time together and my younger sister was the baby and they always had a good bond. That leaves me middle child, typical sob story. In high school my dad had an affair, he also just started treating my mom pretty awful during that time. I’m a lot closer to my mom than my dad. Pretty much my older sister took my dads side in the divorce and I took my moms. My mom moved us over an hour away to literally the middle of nowhere, my dad didn’t fight for custody or even really offer to see us. My mom would pick the days he could come out and he’d show up those days and probably leave early. If I ever asked for him to come out on a day that wasn’t “his” day he’d say no. Towards the end of high school and into my early 20s I fell in with a really bad crowd and started doing drugs pretty heavily. I stole and lied to and burned a bridge with everyone in my family including my dad. He ended up marrying the woman he had an affair with. I didn’t go to the wedding because he told me 2 days before and I already had plans with my mom for that day. I have met his wife, she’s nice enough, Iv watched her kids from her first marriage before. Nothing against her but she’s just not my favorite person in the world. I got my life together when I get pregnant by a literal stranger. Who Iv been with for the last 5 years and have a great relationship with. I reached out to everyone in my family to try and make amends for my kids sake this included my dad. My dad showed up with a crib and was supportive while I was pregnant. I kept in touch and he saw my son for about the first 2 years of his life. We stopped contact around my sons first birthday for about 6 months. I personally drove to my dads house to have dinner with him and invite him to his face to my sons party which was being held at my moms house. Which he’s at my moms house often so it’s not weird for him to go there. I also asked if that was ok and if not I’ll plan something separate for him and my son but he said it was ok and then didn’t show up to the party and told everyone that I didn’t invite him. I was unbelievably hurt that he’d miss my sons first birthday. I really wanted my son to have a grandpa though so I reached out and we started talking again. Which is just my dad constantly asking when I could come over so he could see my son. I get a lot of anxiety about going over to my dads house and I don’t like going alone. My boyfriends only day off work is Sunday. So Sunday is the only day I’m able to take my son the hour to his grandpas house. Which it’s also the only day we get to do family things just my boyfriend son and I. We also have my boyfriends other children every other weekend, we have to do things with his family. Literally only having Sundays makes it very hard to see people. And if I didn’t give my dad a day we could come he’d stop speaking to me and I’d have to reach out again. He would also send me texts on how rude and ungrateful I was and how I was ruining his marriage because I didn’t text his wife on her birthday or Mother’s Day. Which she’s never been my mom and I am also a step mom, my relationship with my step kids gets rocky at time I don’t always get a text on my birthday or Mother’s Day. My step kids live with me, I celebrate their birthdays and take them back to school shopping and I don’t always get treated like a respected adult in the house. But I’m suppose to prioritize this woman Iv met a couple dozen times, who helped break up my parents marriage. I don’t even text my mom happy birthday, I literally remember no ones birthday. Communication stopped around my sons 3rd birthday. I just couldn’t have any more added stress to my life, there was a lot of drama with my boyfriends family at the time and with my job, I just couldn’t do my dads baggage anymore. Well we are approaching my sons 4th birthday so it’s been a year of no contact. My dad unfriended me on all social media now, unless my sister shows him pics he hasn’t seen my son since he was probably 2 maybe 2 1/2. He hasn’t sent a single text absolutely nothing. Well I was showing my son pictures from when he was a baby and his first year of life, and my dad was in one of the pictures and my son went “that’s grandpa. I miss grandpa. Mom I want grandpa.” And I started crying and I’m crying now posting this. I don’t know what to do. I feel absolutely awful that I took this man from my son and I don’t know how to fix it or if I should even fix it. What are y’all’s comments, thoughts, opinions. Thank you to everyone that read this whole thing.