my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I would say the past year we have had sex prob 10 times in total :/ I stopped contraception last year in December so I know it’s not medication that’s stopping it but I just feel like I don’t have a sex drive anymore, I just don’t want to have sex with him and I don’t know if it’s me or what the issue is.

There is times where I feel uncomfortable because when we did have it, there were things that gave me the ick and I think maybe I’ve the fear of having sex in case he does what gives me the ick lol. But also I’m not really comfortable in myself either so I’m thinking am I the problem???

But also… I do get horny when I’m not with him 🤦🏼‍♀️ so then I’ve to use my vibrator to keep me going :/

He hasn’t tried to have sex with me and I never tried with him so I know it’s not exactly just me

We both know that we aren’t having it but just not addressing it… the past month we haven’t really saw each other, I would normally make the effort in organising things but I’ve just gotten fed up that it’s me, so I’ve kinda let that go and hoped that he would make the effort and he hasn’t really. I’ve been feeling really down as well, I’ve just lost my spark and I’m just not myself, I’m not happy either (with life lol) and we spoke about that, and he said to me that he didn’t plan anything with me because he knew I wasn’t feeling great and didn’t want to make it ‘worse.’

I’m just stuck and I don’t know what to do, we have no problems in our relationship (except from all of the above) and we get along amazingly. For reference, he’s 25 and I’m 21. I’m at the stage in life too where I just want to party and enjoy life, whereas, he’s already done that and is happy to settle down

HELP