Editing to add; thank you for your super helpful and positive insight on how to heal and move forward! So many kind words with no judgement. It really helps too that you guys totally know the full blown story of my marriage, myself, and my husband. So grateful for the women on this app helping to build each other out 🥰 I finally found my 13th reason 💜

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Back in February of 21 I was a retail manager, and we had someone steal a bunch of crap and take off. As manager, a half hour before we close, I have to call the county sheriff's department. Super fun stuff. I'm trying to close, and then I see the deputy walk in. And he just like... Absolutely took my heart at first sight. I felt nervous, I couldn't gather my thoughts, he just had an effect on me. Tall, sweet, absolutely gorgeous eyes. I did all my procedural stuff- reviewing cameras, getting a list of what was stolen, etc. And I could tell he was picking up the same vibe. We exchanged phone numbers (for the purpose of the case) and that was that. For a while, he would text me every now and then, mostly just asking about stuff at my store. Then it kind of became somewhat flirty? Anyways. My kid gets COVID just after she turns one, about two months post theft. And I kind of stopped texting so much because I was terrified for my kid. And I spill the beans. I'm not young like I look, I'm actually in my mid 20s, I'm married, and my kid has COVID and that's why I'm not replying. Turns out he too is married, he's never done anything like this, he has three kids, his youngest is two months younger than my youngest. And it just.... Idk man I fell so hard for him. By June we're hooking up. He leaves his wife (who btw still has no idea I'm the reason they broke up) and I was gonna leave my husband when he picks up a girl on tinder. So whatever, it ends, my husband and I repair our marriage. Now in early October 22, I called the cops on a domestic situation in my neighborhood. Who answers? Him. He tries to call. I text the address back. We talk a bit- I had convinced myself that he never thought about me, he was happy, he didn't care about me. Apparently he and his gf break up regularly, he says he thinks about me, basically ruins my coping mechanism. Tells me they just broke up again last night, and I have good timing. Tells me he bought property at the end of the road my mom lives on in my hometown. And I'm just baffled. I ask if we can talk so I can get closure; they get back together and he ignores me. I asked once since then what the hell is up with that- nothing. I so badly want someone to know the truth. Idk I just wanted to get it out. Open to questions and stuff. Thanks y'all