Guys.. do you think this is financial Infidelity?

So my partner and I have been really bad in spending our money. with really bad I feel the need to mention that he manipulated me into doing things his way all the time. I have put my money where my heart was. I was paying everything. He wanted everything joint because that was the only way we could afford life. I need to mention that before I met him I was paying rent and caring for myself, had a pretty big expense in car insurance.. that was it.. and I was saving 1k per month. The moment I met him this changed.. I payed for a lot of things and when our accounts were joint 3 months into our relationship (I know Bad Bad move) While he hadn't made me aware of the loans he was still paying etc.. I had no oversight on "my money" and where it was going.. "*but everything is ours now*"🙄 (don't worry I feel stupid enough as it is) anyways.. I was begging for years to please stop spending so much, please don't do this activity because we can't afford it. THESE are our incomings and outgoings, charts included, and I NEED for us to CUT expenses and to start saving. No changes. My inputs were deemed as unnecessary and I was dramatic and he had been through much worse.. and sure he had to win the lottery to get out of that pile of debt but he leaves that out for convenience.. So I have been very clear to him "If I need to take more loans, I WILL leave you" is exactly what I told him. 2 more loans came before I decided enough was enough. I made a seperate account with a different bank to save some money so I can pay a deposit for rent. I wasn't going to tell him until I had enough in case he would put me on the street, but he received my new bank card. He called that financial Infidelity and is now acting like he's so much better and like I have to somehow make it better.. fix his trust.

@Gloria

I felt thesame way but a few weeks ago it came up in a quiz, and now he's holding that over my head that he wasn't wrong for feeling cheated and I was wrong for opening that account and that is has a name now.

It's not so easy to just dump him.. we have a child together.

@Natasha

most of his expenses can be deemed as "for the whole family" or "It's for the kids" they include loans to his ex family in law, lawyer fees for his child support case, child support and bank loans. right now until they are paid we are stuck. Our income is less than our bills. I am now working double but he's not changing. In fact he took a less paying job "for his mental health" .. but my mental health is crumbling with all the damn unpaid bills.. so to fix that I guess I need to work more.. I don't think that makes sense since most bills are his.. but I'm doing it anyways. But when I complain it's "my choice" to work so much, and while I'm sick..

We did do the allowance thing before.. but he ended up pressuring me to use mine for another loan... and was bitching about his allowance of 250 € not being sufficient.

But it's irrelevant now since we don't have anything left to use as allowance