To keep in mind not all positive will come in a positive end in a baby.!

My mom had a still born then had me at 6 months I was only 3.lbs 6oz I am her blessing

Okay okay so all my life I wanted kids my fertility journey hasn’t been easy I suffered multiple miscarriage and one ectopic almost lost left tube and had tubal adhesion removed. Married a man who already had a baby. So we planed our journey and then had my hopes up again for my rainbow baby. At first I found out I didn’t say anything I had so many mixed emotions two weeks later my hubby asked me take a test at home we took two bam positive.!

He was thrilled as he said but upset with me and mean to me for not feeling of joy he acuses me of cheating cuz I wasn’t overwhelmed with joy. Why u ask? Because of my history he knows my journey and past he knows how long it took us to be here and because I wasn’t jumping for joy sharing with everyone. When we went to first appt and actually confirm the pregnancy he already told his whole fam and friends negative thinking about may cheated smh so I was like i told my mom and sister they was nonchalant and my mom ain’t care to hear bout it till I’m like 6 months cuz my history she said. So I had people around me who understand and then some who didn’t my feelings I been arguing with his side of family because I don’t want a gender reveal because I want the gender of my blessing to be a surprise at birth. And I also want the baby shower I’m throwing after the birth. Or not wanting to pick out a boys baby name yet as my husband picked a girls. I’m wrong for this they said smh it’s my baby🤦🏼‍♀️ so anyways after being forced into being somewhat happy and or having my own personal happy but sad moments or my blessing coming all my hopes and then all being snatched again from you is the reason why….

recently ended in a spontaneous abortion at 9 weeks.

GUESS WHAT IT GETS BETTER IM TO BLAME.!

I know deep down when time is right my blessing will come and I wait patently for that day but when I’m being town down for what I want most in life makes me feel worthless and not want to live tbh.!

Am I wrong am I alone am I worthless