Misunderstandings

We lost our baby on 10/26 after we were induced and went through an unmedicated labor and delivery. We were 39+1. Baby boy was 6 pounds 2.2 ounces and so perfect.

Both my fiancé and I are trying to get through this both together and individually. I told him the only way I can get through this some days is making myself believe I was never pregnant and that the last 10 months were just something I made up in my head. By thinking like this, I can manage a day without crying.

I was being open and honest with him but I didn’t realize how that would hurt his feelings. He got upset and told me this was a stupid way to think and feel because the last 10 months were real and we really lost our baby.

I understand I was wrong but I don’t know how else to cope. This is not natural. Having a baby and leaving the hospital without him is not natural. Pumping with no baby to feed is not natural. How else am I supposed to make it to the next day.