Frustrated and need Venting

Mikaela

Ssoo I am a mother to a handsome 2.5 yr boy. And my boy is my heart dont get me wrong, but this mama is tired. I have my son 25/8 (I'm unemployed rn which is why I'm exaggerating) and there is a very strong chance he is on the spectrum and I have come to accept that. But lately it's been taking a toll on me because I'm never away from him and he has alot of meltdowns. He is very emotional and alot of times I will say somthing and it could lead to him either having a meltdown or a tantrum. Its exhausting and I would love to be away from my baby boy for just a few hours to take a breather and feel like I can be myself and not just in straight mommy mode. It sucks tho because unfortunately I don't have the support to be able to ask a family member or a friend like.."Hey do you think you can watch him for a while for me?". So the only alone breather time I get is taking a shower, or when he goes to bed. And not working just doesn't help it. I have mental health problems and just lately I feel like im drowning and I just dont know what to do. The only thing I can do is take it 1 day at a time. It just makes me sad that I feel like this because it makes me wonder how would I be able to do it if I have another child? Because I eventually would love to have another child, I love being a mama. It just sucks cuz its like if you don't have the support it's almsot like you might as well not have kids the way this world and society is now and days. But I just try to keep going and just take everything 1 day at a time and get everything out in the open when I can.