Let me preface: I’m 23, going to school full-time, working part-time, and I handle 80% of the housework (shopping, cleaning, errands, cooking etc)

My bf of almost 4 years works full-time, and pays 90% of the bills. An arrangement we agreed upon before I went back to school. Outside of that, he had very few responsibilities. He has 2-3 rotating household chores, and I ask him to do the occasional grocery run/house pickup on his days off while I work. I feel like our workload is unequal. And it’s been discussed more times than can count. I tell him I have way more responsibilities, and need a little more help around the house. This usually results in a fit, with him claiming he’s “tired because he works all day” and “doesn’t want to come home and work more” and that I agreed to take care of the house. I explained that I simply have less time and more things to do, I’m doing MORE between the two of us. He always argues this, and says if “I need something done to just ask.” I feel like I shouldn’t ALWAYS HAVE TO. And even when I do, they never get done, or he needs reminded, making me feel like a mother and a nag. I’m in a bit of a depression and have been-admittedly- slacking. But again, an issue that I’ve brought up multiple times, and I don’t think he believes how difficult it is to juggle a depressive episode with all of my other tasks. Even though I “asked for them”. Over COVID, he was depressed as well, laid off, and didn’t work for nearly 8 months, but he didn’t pick up the household tasks either. I handled all of it.

I’m so beyond tired of having the same conversation over and over with nothing changing. I love him, I want to be married, but I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trailing behind him begging him to help take care of our life with me. Help.