i’ve posted a couple times about my situation. i was with my sons dad since we were 19. it was perfect at first and at 6 months i started to see his true colors. he cheated on me for the first time. i found him telling his ex “i miss the way you loved me plus i miss the sex”. idk why i stupidly forgave him. about 10 months in, i got pregnant with our son. about a week after finding out i was pregnant he was buying stuff on onlyfans. i broke down and i told him i was gonna leave. once again, he manipulated me into staying. when our son was about 3-4 months old, i found messages from about a week before i was scheduled to be induced. he told a girl “the things i would do to fuck that mouth and pussy” and those messages followed with pictures of that girls naked body. i told him i was done with the disrespect and being hurt. i was diagnosed with PPD so i was already down and he continued to kick me. i put our son in his car seat and said we were leaving. i went to go pack up what i could and when i came out he had our son out of the car seat and he said “you’re not taking my son” so i continued to pack because of course i was. he told me “maybe if you did the positions i liked i wouldn’t have felt the need to do that”, so i put our son in the car seat again and he told me if i leave he was calling the cops on me. i felt hopeless. i was postpartum, 21 years old and a SAHM. once again, i stayed. things would get better for awhile but he’d do something again as soon as he felt i was trusting him and getting comfortable. i found him talking to girls he told me were “friends” saying stuff like

“you were intrigued by what i said”

her: “well you have a girlfriend so i just stayed back”

him: “yeah i guess”

on christmas day, i found him telling another girl “friend” that he wanted her. when i brought it up in tears he told me “i’m not gonna let you ruin christmas” and stonewalled me. when i brought it up later he said “i was probably drunk i don’t even know why id say that”. he gaslighted and manipulated me once again. i got pregnant oct of this year and i wanted the baby regardless. he said he also did. my gut told me he was still doing stuff so when i checked he had several girls on his phone. i confronted him and he told me “you don’t deserve to see my phone” “i’m not doing anything believe what you want”. i ended up miscarrying the baby at around 6 weeks when they told me they found nothing on the ultrasound. i completely lost it and broke down. i finally left, after almost 4 years of abuse. i’m so exhausted. i got myself a psychiatrist and a therapist. i want to be over this toxic cycle for good. i know i deserve the world because i know the love i gave him was pure and genuine. if you have any tips on how to move on from your child(rens) father, please give advice. thank you