I just need a place to vent.

My husband and I experienced our second miscarriage. First didn't hit us as hard as it I had known only for a couple of days. The second I was 8 weeks and it really shook us we knew the gender and my husband had told most of our friends.

Today my cousin was over and she mentioned it. Then mentioned my previous miscarriages. I say previous because I had one prior when I was extremely young out of high-school over a decade ago. I told her they all have impacted me differently and I have hurt and I grieve the children I prayed for.

She then proceeded to tell me how my first affected her because I was having a relationship with her boss. How I turned down his marriage proposal. Lost the baby. And he had a breakdown and yelled at her resulting in her getting fired at her job. I actually was stunned because she lost her job due to her own issues not because of her boss. Then she told me how the loss of my baby made her have to move out of her apartment. How I didn't handle life properly.

I really didn't know how to respond then to apologize for her strife. I'm not responsible for other people though. How for over a decade she had never talked to me about my baby or even asked me if I was OK. She just made it about her and how she could have told my family.

I'm experiencing grief from losing my child. Meanwhile I am also grieving each separate loss I have felt. All of my babies were wanted and dreamed for. She herself has had a loss. I cannot fathom someone being so angry a decade later never mention my unborn child and make my loss about them and it effected their life.

I shared this with my husband and he was just stunned how someone could make everything about themselves. He really couldn't believe she would bring it up in a way as if I'm supposed to apologize to her. I was dating her boss yes but I did not have control over her terrible job performance. I broke up with my ex to move out of state and go to college. I had a right to want to be young and make a future. I also had a right as her family member to be respected enough to be cared for and taken care of. I just lost my baby and it being the 3rd time doesn't make it easier. This doesn't hurt less. She has no right to project her problems onto my grief and make it about her.

She then sounded jealous and told me she and him could have worked out. Girlfriend if he wanted you he would have had you. He didn't want you clearly. You are a married woman now what to do you care about over a decade ago and some boss you had the hots for.

Part of me is hurt and another angry. To bring up such hard point in my past and to be callus about it and blaming. It takes a special kind of person to be so absorbed into one self.