What do I do being a single mom with 4 kids?

Well I’ve been with this guy for almost 4 years but majority of the relationship he has cheated…

Ever since I had his baby in July he has tried to change but it hasn’t even been a year that he has been faithful… He put me onto this church and we have been going every single Sunday and we have been being submissive but it seems that the problems at home are still not working.

The minister’s wife was trying to tell me the things that I should change even though she got onto him as well but I felt like she was sticking up for him… I feel like no matter how far we get I can’t get over the cheating and I’m just not happy because he doesn’t give me enough affection or attention…

I tryed to kick him out the other day and he begged me on his knees crying and acting insane. He continues to beg but he continues not to change and says that he wants to be married but I just don’t see it.

We have another baby on the way and I have one more by him, the other two are not his.

I just feel like my life is ruined. I know that a child is a blessing from God and I’m grateful for my baby but I feel like I should not have gave him one to begin with and I feel foolish. I don’t know what I should do