My family ( 4 adults 2 kids) want me to host Christmas. I live alone with my 4 yr old and my baby. I don’t want to.

The part where I may be the asshole is I live in my late grandmothers house. She left it to my mother and I’ve just recently become a single mother and having a difficult time, so she is letting me live here.

They want to have Christmas here because of the memories, we all grew up here and their home is a mess like we always have to deep clean before any event it’s actually quite sad (but I always help). So I feel they would rather just come here where it’s already clean and easy to just be in.

Also my brother who we never see but love dearly is home visiting, he also wanted to feel Xmas in my grandmothers home once more.

The reason I don’t want to is because they (mostly the kids) are so destructive I mean, they’re all boys lol but one has autism and is VERY difficult which I love him anyways but it is a lot sometimes. If I’m at my moms I can just, leave if it becomes much for me or my children. It gets seriously so hectic. Also, my other brother is a drug addict and known to steal. Not saying he will but, I simply don’t trust him I mean all my belongings are here or even with my children.

Another thing, they lack common manners a lot... think shameless.

I love them I just don’t want to be left with a giant mess to clean by myself or the entire thing dumped on me whereas if my mom hosts it like she always does , I always help clean beforehand, will actually pickup after myself and my sons, and help cook. And the rest of the mess is theirs. I can leave when I want as well..

am i being selfish????