Okay. So. Before I start this isn’t about the morality of abortions at all. If you get mad at the idea of these random people you don’t know having abortions then this isn’t for you please stop reading. please do not read this for your own heart if you are struggling with infertility or loss. I know so many of you are trying really hard to have babies and I don’t want you to read something that will upset you.

This is just me being really confused because.. I’ll just explain. This has happened with more than one friend. I am that really blunt friend like I will tell you what’s up and I think this is why my friends have these conversations with me.

My friend got pregnant and wanted an abortion so she had one and it was a very physically hard thing for her. Then she started asking me about my birth control and how I like it and I have the IUD, love it. She said she’s never been on any type of birth control.

She said “oh god I could never do that.” So I said “okay I completely understand it’s very invasive and has insane risks, so what about the pill?”

“I’m so scared of birth control. I’m scared it will mess up my hormones and made me sick, I just don’t any any hormones inside my body and I’m just too scared to try.”

“I completely understand as someone who tried 57 types of different BC before I found the right one.

But… I’m still having sex with my partner, and I HAVE to do something to prevent a pregnancy so you know I was really willing to try things until they worked.”

I then said “you know more than I do how invasive a surgical abortion is and everything that goes with that. You have also given birth to a whole child before, So why is a birth control pill more scary than that?”

“I just don’t know, I’ve never tried it.”

“Girl. You never had a baby before you did and you still got it done. How is getting pregnant and having another abortion or giving birth again less scary than a birth control pill? Like you still plan on having sex right? Do you use condoms?”

“No.”

Does he pull out? Do you ask him to?”

“No.”

“Well girl you’re going to get pregnant again if you don’t do something to prevent it. There is no other way around it if you are doing nothing to prevent it.”

Later on she gets pregnant again, catches it super early so she takes the pill which induces miscarriage which was not pleasant for her, at all. Like the pain and the bleeding was so traumatic to her.

And she called me again asking more about birth control. So I explained all the types to her, what side affects they have and how you can change them when ever she wants if it doesn’t go well. Shes like okay I guess I’ll consider it. But neve does it.

Gets pregnant again, has the baby, she PUSHED OUT A TEN LB BABY.

She calls me again, about birth control. Says that big ol baby coming out REALLY hurt and left

Stitches all the way down to her anus. And I repeat all I have said before. Then I just say, “what do you think about getting your tubes tied?”

“Too invasive and i want to have more babies later too just on my own time.”

Man. Just man. I really dont know what’s going on here because… i have tried everything I can, she’s physically experienced all of these things, but still will not take a birth control pill because the idea of it messing with her hormones scares her but abortion, pregnancy and having a baby messes with your hormones too.

This is not the only woman that has come to me to talk about this and I literally just don’t even know whah to say. I love you, I respect you, but you’re just gonna keep getting pregnant and im kinda done talking about it because you won’t take any of my advice or even attempt to try contraception and I’m just at a complete loss.

How can you push out a ten lb baby and have your booty hole stitched, have to wear an icee pad, have to spend 6 weeks healing while you’re lactating and breast feeding which is no easy feat.

But a pill. A pill is too much,

Someone help me understand this thought process.

I am really not judging them. I am just completely at a loss on this thought process. It makes no sense to me.

I have tried everything to get her to at least try birth control I’ve really talked to her about it but no. I don’t even know what else to say.

Idk why anyone would report this as I’ve said nothing negative about her having abortions and I’m pro choice and supported her through them. She’s come to me and stated she doesn’t want to get pregnant anytime soon again, the only way for that is contraception which she comes to me and asks about multiple times. And I take it more as her trying to open up to the idea of birth control. If she felt like it wasn’t my business she wouldn’t be telling me everything. She doesn’t want to use abortion as her only source of birth control and has told me both abortion experiences sucked a lot for her and so did giving birth. I’ve said nothing negative about her other than I don’t know what to say to her and don’t understand why she’s scared of BC but not the physical turmoil she’s told me she’s gone through with her experiences.

I’ve broken no rules. The only thing that would happen is I get moved to the pro choice group.

I’m literally just trying to understand some of my friends.

See you in the pro choice room.

Oh guys I have sent her a whole list about what types there are not just the pill. I suggest the pill because it’s the least invasive, the majority of people do well on them, and they’re the easiest thing to switch like you can try a plethora of different types of bc pills before anything else. I tried every pill imaginable I feel like.

I told her about the shot, the ring, the IUD, the non hormonal IUD, the nexplanon, even freakin female condoms and spermicide. They’ve even come out with a brand new one that’s non hormonal and I think it’s just a jel you put in the vagina? and I sent her the add for it. I’ve ran through all the options. I even sent her to a link to a site that explains what FAM Is where you just track your cycles to avoid getting pregnant.

I think I’ll agree to just not entertain the conversation anymore.