*Trigger warning*

Not sure why..but everything seemed so off and it is taking me closer and closer to not wanting to be here anymore. I struggled mad ever since I had my second child. From the trauma of birthing alone to knowing that my husband could be there but he decided not to trouble others to find a substitute for a work trip. And now even worry if my child might have a genetic disorder from an innocent fucking search that isnt even medically related and it might be due to im a severe hypochondriac idk but it had since sent me down this bad state of panic and 2022 has been really harsh to me. Because i started to have some tiny hope for the better and everything came crashing down and I don’t believe anything good can ever happen to me i feel like I want out.