After 7 years, a baby and cat I think my relationship is over… no relationship is perfect but I feel like now he starts an argument and I don’t wanna argue but I don’t see the point. I don’t even get mad at him like I used to. I just feel empty. Now to be fair, this past year as been so hard for me. My house burned down, I had an abortion ( after the house fire.. wasn’t expecting that or ready ) just months from each other maybe 3 months between. I’ve been trying to heal, but because I’ve been with him since I was 19, I feel like I missed out on life a little. I love him but I don’t know who I am, I love being a mother.. but I don’t want to just be a mother. I wanna do things outside of motherhood is make me feel ALIVE. I’ve never been to a bar myself, or clubbing. I feel so selfish for feeling this way, I know for him it hurts him because his love language is affection but I just don’t want that. I want to not be touched everytime we’re in a room together. Or every night when we cuddle for him to cop a feel and get upset because I just want to cuddle and not have sex. I feel like I can’t be affectionate because that night he will think I want to have sex. It’s been two months now and I just don’t even care. I don’t know what to do, he just lost his job and he lives with me so I feel horrible just leaving him by himself… p.s. I want to add, after the fire I was open about not taking my birth control and he blamed the pregnancy on me. Was extremely unsupportive during that. Just like “ well you didn’t take the birth control “ as if it doesn’t take 2. Now he’s feeling alone and it’s somehow my fault. But when I was, I called a grief counselor after the abortion because I felt so alone.