So basically my last 4 kids have been back to back like after I've had my son in 2019 we've gotten pregnant every year since with like 4 month time in between. I think ive had postpartum for all the years since 2019. I have these rages i feel when im overwhelmed. I am not very interactive with my kids because of it. I know i can be and i want to be. At night i stay up feeling bad for my kids and just being angry with myself about how i let these emotions control me as a person. Its like to much talking is frustrating, when my boyfriend plays loud music in the car i get overstimulated and just over all house hold tasks for me can pile up for weeks sometimes before i can make myself clean up. I don't dress up anymore. Im around 8 months pregnant now and i just wanna feel happy again and love myself and learn how to break this feeling I've been having for so long. Its been a few years but ive had SH thoughts and extreme breakdowns. Im ready to start my life and actually know who i am because i really dont know..